I Killed the Fire Alarm

This is a tale that happened over several months early this year (2018). Like over about 6 months of time.

Fire safety: you're supposed to have a fire alarm in every room. The one in the kitchen would go off every time I opened the waffle iron due to the steam from it. This got tiresome, so I would take the alarm in to the next room before cooking.

And then I'd forget to bring it back.

Well, that's not helpful for fire safety. So I decided to relocate it. I put it on top of the fridge. This solved the problem as it was far enough away from the waffle iron and stove not to go off every time I opened one of the two when they were hot and had steam emerge. (Steam and smoke trigger the alarm the same way.)

The refrigerator also had a stack of boxes on top of it, to the right as you look at it. Then there's cabinets above the back half, the way some kitchens are. The boxes were to keep Thimble from jumping onto the counter (which starts immediately to the right of the fridge) and from there to the fridge. So the fire alarm was put on the left side of the fridge.

I promptly forgot all about it, as it no longer went off frequently. I even forgot I'd put it there.

Fast forward several months. Thimble decides that it's possible to leap onto the left side of the fridge from the ground. Not acceptable. He does this several times before I gave up, realizing I wasn't going to be able to discourage him, and instead put a large vase with a fake flower arrangement on the space. Thimble had liked stretching out on the fridge and was put out with me until he discovered that moving the vase meant he could get on the rolltop desk (where the vase had been) and from there, onto the built-in pantry. There's not enough space for him to stand up on the pantry top, but he can sprawl out and vulture the rest of us from up there so that makes him happy.

One day when I was making supper, this horrible noise started. I couldn't figure out where it came from. It seemed to be coming from the microwave? No, the toaster? Both of these things are often in use for supper preparation and both are next to the fridge. The horrible noise ceased before I could locate it.

The cats gingerly came back into the kitchen. I took my fingers out of my ears and finished making supper.

Days or weeks later, it happened again. And again. It was completely random. Always when we were in the kitchen with me making supper but, during the work week, that's the only time I am in the kitchen for any length of time.

I was slowly going insane. I hate noise. I hate loud, high frequency, ear-piercing noise. I hate random screeching noises. It would startle me so badly every time it happened that my heart would literally hurt afterwards.

It happened often enough that I narrowed it down to the toaster. But it's a cheapo toaster. It doesn't have any way to make a noise. It doesn't make noise when it's done or anything. How the ... (suppressed curse word here) ... is it doing that????

And then something clicked. That sound. I know that sound. It's the sound a home fire alarm makes.

Where's the fire alarm?

The next time it happened something else clicked. Remember? You put it on top of the fridge?

I reached up and fished around and found it by feel (I'm not tall enough to see the top of the fridge), pulled it down, and yanked out its battery. The sound vanished.

Hallelujah!!!!

"Boys, boys, come see, I found it, I found it! I killed it, see? I ripped it apart! I killed it!"

Yes, that was me. Out loud, ecstatic, holding up the alarm and the battery, demonstrating to the cats that it was safe, see, here's its wicked heart! (It worked. The cats came back in and from then on were completely relaxed in the kitchen again, instead of being on edge the way they had been since the strange sound occurrences started.)

...

I'm really glad there's no humans in the house to video me and put that on youtube. 

---

So what happened was, Thimble sprawling on the fridge had pushed the alarm back under the cabinets. The toaster sent steam up which was then channeled into the space between the fridge and the cabinets as the cabinets continue over top of where it is. The steam rolled over top of the alarm, and, if there was enough of it, the alarm would go off until the steam went away, and then the alarm would stop sounding. Thus the complete seeming randomness of the sound.

By the way, fire safety be damned. I don't have a fire alarm in the kitchen anymore. It's still killed.